Boundaries
and Balance - from the Health and Healing
Series at SupportNet.ca - Resources for Your Recovery.
Recovery is learning to enjoy life - without the
use of alcohol or drugs that alter mind or mood.
It is treatment for the condition of addiction -
an approach to the challenges of life - and a path
to personal growth.
Recovery requires us to learn - about the true nature
of addiction.
It may be personalized - but it has its necessary
Principles and its Ways.
The Principles of Recovery provide direction - to
the choices that we face each day.
The Ways of Recovery provide
us with tools - that help us to heal - and to enjoy
life on life’s
terms.
This Learning Seminar introduces the topics of Boundaries
and Balance.
What you need to know about boundaries - and how
to balance the needs of your health today.
Understanding Boundaries
Boundaries refer to the distinction - between what
is me right now - and everything else that is not.
Healthy boundaries exist when I see the difference
- between my needs and the needs of another - between
what is mine to change about my self - and what is
not mine to control in another person.
Tangled boundaries occur when I confuse the difference
between my needs and the separate life of another
person.
Tangled or confused boundaries create all sorts
of stressful complications within families or between
partners.
The huge challenge of boundaries is that they are
only seen when they are healthy.
Tangled boundaries are invisible to the one who
is confused.
And it is for this reason that boundary problems
persist - creating stressful complications over years
or decades of time.
Boundaries do not only apply to the distinction
between people.
Boundaries in time indicate the difference between
what is now - what is in the past - or within an
imagined future.
Boundaries of health consider the needs of our person
- in balance with the other interests of our life.
Our mind imagines all sorts of things that we believe
are important to do today.
But the condition of our health means that there
is some distinction - between what we want to do
- and what is possible to do in healthy balance.
It is no different for one with a heart condition,
with diabetes or in recovery from addiction.
Alcohol, drugs and other substances provide a quick
fix to the way that we feel.
They allow us to work longer than is best for our
health - to stay up later or to neglect the stressful
issues of our life.
Substances manufacture feeling inside of us - and
allow us to persist in a lifestyle that is out of
balance with the needs of our health.
Recovery encourages respect for the condition of
our health - and balance in the activities of our
day.
And it is in doing so that recovery helps us to
feel well in the day - and to relieve us of the need
to fix our feelings with outside substances.
Finding Balance
A first step in finding balance to our day is to
accept - the condition of our health - and the needs
of our recovery today.
Without acceptance - we push our selves beyond the
boundaries of our health - and are not willing to
put recovery first in our day.
Acceptance allows us to conduct our selves with
respect to the needs of our health.
Remember HALT -
and don’t let your
self get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
This traditional recovery phrase helps to relieve
the frustrating symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal
- and to protect us from risk of self treatment.
Schedule time for your self - within the activities
of your Personal Program of Recovery.
A morning routine - time for exercise, stretching
or meditation - journal writing - are all ways that
those in recovery attend to the needs of their health.
Consider the things that you do in a day - as part
of your Personal Inventory.
Do I make time for my self in the day? Am I
doing things for others - that they would be better
to do for them selves? Do I know in my heart that
I am pushing my self too hard or too fast? Am I
neglecting things that I know I should do for my
self? Do I still find my self thinking of alcohol
or drugs - as a way to fix the way that I feel?
Learn the ways to say No - and to not take
on too much for your day.
Help others to learn that they can do for their
selves - and show by example - the benefits of caring
for your person.
As we adopt healthy boundaries
and balance to our day - it encourages those around
us to do the same.
Listen to the experience of others in recovery -
and to the wisdom within your heart.
Stop making excuses to ignore their messages - and
take time today to put your health and recovery first.
In Summary
Boundaries of health consider the needs of our person
- in balance with the other interests of our life.
Recovery encourages respect for the condition of
our health - and balance in the activities of our
day.
It is in doing so that recovery helps us to feel
well in the day - and to relieve us of the need to
fix our feelings with other substances.
You have now reached the end of Boundaries and
Balance.
Look for this and other Learning Seminars at www.SupportNet.ca
- Resources for Your Recovery. |